Ugh! I'm still unrationally stressed. It really sucks. I…

"Real isn't how you are made . . . It's a thing that happens to you. . .	Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes droop and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"Real isn't how you are made . . . It's a thing that happens to you. . .

Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes droop and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

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Posted by: Elsceetaria Original: 4/22/2007 10:28 PM Views: 52 Comments: 0 eProps: 0 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Ugh! I'm still unrationally stressed. It really sucks. I need to write, but I just can't focus. I can't work. It makes me want to scream. It makes me want to cry. I don't know. Its been a crazy roller coaster of a week. Earth Day was totally awesome! I felt like I had actually done something. Four boxes of shoes to be recycled into athletic shoes is amazing. I felt like someone who could actually make a difference. On the other hand, almost flucking my Behav Pharm presentation sucked. Thankfully, we didn't have to present, buceasue otherwise I was screwed. I want to get a B (preferabley) or C in that class and I can't mess anything up to do that. I don't know. There are so many times I felt in over my head in that class, but I should get at least a C, if I can't pull my paper together. Yesterday and Today have been bad. I went out with the Rents to Lettuce Souprise You on Ponce last night, and I kept freaking in the car, even worse than usual. I can't understand why this is still with me. I don't understand why I can't get over this. Today has been bad. I'm in this horrible internal state. I'm only slightly outwardly frazzled, but inside I'm on total edge. Idk. Everytime I've turned around I find a new trigger. I keep wondering who my friends would be and where my GPA would stand if I was the person I was a little over two years ago. I know this won't help me, but that is where I keep going, to an Amanda who doesn't randomly crash. This Amanda might drive; she might have a Prius. Who knows? I should be writting. All I have done is my CS extra credit. I need to write a paper on the Patient Narrative and take a take home exam for Behav Pharm, but that probably won't happen. Whatever.

Posted 4/22/2007 10:28 PM - 52 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments